COFFEE AND A KEYBOARD

A few years ago, I set out to change my image. To build my resume. To set myself up for success.

And it worked.

I support myself, I have a good job with even better people, [insert more seemingly bragging here].

Somewhere along the way, though, between the schedules, the strategy, the huge dreams and large goals – I lost a large part of who I am.

The part of me that only thinks of the day in front of me. The part of me that only lives for that moment and that moment alone. The part of me that doesn’t plan, doesn’t only look to the future, doesn’t waste away her life in her dreams.

I lost the part of me that appreciates the little things. The part of me that has gratitude for the world and everything in it. The part of me that looks around and realizes that this is enough.

That I am enough.

Amid people telling me I’m going to do big things, amid the pressure I put on myself to achieve greatness and change lives, I lost the part of me that allows me to do just that.

Simply being myself.

Recently I became lost, I felt like I was floundering – and why? Because I was chasing a dream that might not be mine to chase.

Because I’m not sure it’s my dream anymore.

Dreams change.

As we grow older, develop into the person we were meant to be, and experience different things…we evolve.

And as we evolve, so do our dreams.

I don’t want to chase a dream that isn’t mine anymore in fear of regret and not doing big things. I don’t want to take my days for granted in search of a better future. I don’t want to go after something that in the end, may leave me feeling more alone and empty than before.

I want to live for today. I want to set dreams and goals and allow them to change. I want to enjoy the journey as I pursue those goals, realizing that the fact that I even have the option to pursue them is a blessing – is enough.

While it’s okay to want something more, something different – it’s more important to appreciate where you are today, right now.

“What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.”

I’m done obsessing over that picture, I’m ready to put my glasses on, work hard, and enjoy my own.

I believe it is now time to make moves.

Your beliefs are valid. Your opinions are your own. Your voice matters.

What you do every day, it matters.

I write this from a perspective of someone unable to quit everything to go volunteer or support an important cause. I write this from the perspective that I imagine many of my readers are coming from.

We must, in a world of checks, balances, and necessary routine, be the good we wish to see.

In our every day lives, whether that is at an office, in a school, at a protest in D.C., we must be the good we wish to see.

Please, never feel like you cannot do anything to help.

You can always do something to help.

That might mean donating a sum to a cause you care about, or that might mean simply smiling and saying hello to someone in the morning.

Because those little things, they make a difference.

It is those little things, that change people’s lives. That remind people to move forward and keep their head up each and every day.

Whatever your every day looks like – it matters.

I plan, to practice kindness. To continue to write uplifting, relatable thoughts and to share them with my friends and family (regardless of how self-concious I may be). To support start-ups, the arts, non-profits, and companies moving toward a better future in my own community. To encourage others to follow their dreams, passions, and life callings. To remind others that life is meant to be lived, enjoyed, and taken day by day.

I plan to make my routine, normal, seemingly average days extraordinary. To live my why.

To help others to do the same.

Your every day matters. Whatever that looks like to you, I hope you will remember that much to be true.

It’s important to see the good that can come of different events. Otherwise, we would live in a constant state of sadness, confusion, and grief over things that happen all over the world, every day.

This happens to me often, on a much smaller scale. I push myself too far, I wait until I am too unhappy, someone is too much for me – this is usually when I make a change.

It always comes to this big “aha” or realization moment.

I see many of you going through this today, encouraging others and yourselves to get out and get involved (which, by the way, I love).

So, sometimes it takes a large event to push us to our potential, to push us to go out and make a difference and fight for what we believe in.

I am not an extremely opinionated person when it comes to politics, nor have I ever been. I have my views, and I am educated, of course – but it is not my area of expertise and I will not pretend so.

I guess what I’m saying is that amid all of this strife, I am trying to figure out what I can to do help. What can I bring that is unique to me?

I think, so far, it is writing. It is spreading messages of love and understanding. Of pleading for peaceful and respectful solutions among all.

So for me, I think I will follow my heart a little more. I think I will use my words to potentially help a few, I think I will get involved where I see fit.

Mostly, though, I think I will spread the good. Spread the love.

Spread the hope.

Because hope, it’s never gone.

For some of you, I think you may have thought it was. But look on your Facebook now. Look at what people are saying now.

They want to get involved. They want to stand up for what they believe in.

They want to be the change they wish to see.

There is hope, my friends. There is always hope.

And that is what I want you to never forget.

So, what can you do? What can you bring?

There is something, that much I know. There will always be something.

Amid elections, politics, different times of opinions and outcomes – it is easy to get caught up.

Caught up, mostly, with your own feelings…feelings that are then fueled by others with similar (or better yet, differing) opinions.

And this is normal.

We have opinions, we cast votes, we choose different sides.

And we should.

That is what democracy is all about. That is what America is all about.

Having an opinion.

As a professional in a managerial role, I felt the need to discuss the importance of the “time and place” issue.

As any level of employee, and especially when in a leadership role, it is important to remember the separation of your personal views, and your work.

It is important to remember that while it may seem like a no-brainer to you, while you may be furious, upset, and even hurt around a decision – there are more than likely other employees (your co-workers) in your organization that feel exactly the opposite. That actually supported that decision that you feel so strongly against.

Be it a colleague, a subordinate, or a boss – someone will disagree with you.

And they are often too timid to say.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Do not make someone feel embarrassed, bad, or worthless based on their decision or views.

Do not make someone feel uncomfortable walking through the doors at work. These may be your best employees.

Understand that there is a time and place. There are meeting rooms, there are after hours. Understand that not everyone sees it your way.

Work and politics, politics and work.

Yet another difficult, blurred line in the world we live in today.

Hopefully this will help you draw it.

I am sad today.

I am sad today, and I am not talking about the results.

I am sad today, and I am not talking about a number of votes.

I am sad today, because I am sad for you.

I am sad for us.

I am sad that the only opinions I see, are opinions condemning others for theirs.

I am sad that we have lost our faith in each other. That we have forgotten our friends that DO welcome us into this country and DO love us no matter our identity.

I am sad that we have forgotten that we do not live in a dictatorship, nor will we.

I am sad, mostly, that we are fearful.

Because often, fear slowly turns to hate. And in this case, “slowly” has a new definition.

I am sad that faith is being strewn out the window. That hope seems to no longer exist. That these most important feelings have been replaced with hate, with fear, and with hurt.

I am sad that we are forgetting that everyone has a right to their opinions, and I am sad that we are so hateful in our thoughts.

I am sad that we assume people hate a certain group just because they don’t agree with a policy. I am sad that we are calling out our friends and family in such radical ways. I am sad that some of us do not feel welcome in our own country. I am sad that some of us feel our progress is stifled.

And while I understand all of these opinions, while I understand that I have never walked a mile in anyone else’s shoes, I am sad nonetheless.

No matter your opinion, I believe this is a time to commit to following your dreams. To stand up for what you believe in. To give life and this country all that you have.

I believe it is time to do all of this, and to do it in a peaceful way, understanding that others will have different opinions, and understanding that they are allowed to.

Amid adversity, through adversity, and past adversity — I am asking you to commit.

Commit, with me, to following your dreams. Commit, with me, to living your American dream and pushing past any obstacles you feel remain in your way.

Commit, with me, to coming together as one, to remember what we stand for and to stop bashing those that we feel don’t.

Commit to working toward what you believe in beyond the confines of a screen (as I sit here typing), commit to going out and making a positive difference in those around you.

Commit to remembering who you are, to not letting your emotions stoop you down to other levels that are not as respectful and mature as you were raised to be.

Commit. Now more than ever, commit.

November 4th ish, 2015:

Chapter 1: What I learned on my trip to NYC (before I even landed)

 

The group text was blowing up for weeks.

“What shows are we seeing? Can I borrow your sweater? What time is flight? I’m so excited!!”

Weeks.

And finally, it was time. Wednesday, November 4^th proved to be a crazy workday. Trying to get out of the office for a week long vacation during one of our busier times… let’s say lunch wasn’t exactly an option.

But, I made it.

As I wrapped up my work for the day, the group text continued.

The departure timeline:

3pm, Grandma text to Mom and me: Flight canceled to San Diego. Someone is shooting out of apartment at airport. Going to take a cab to San Jose and get new flight to Seattle.

3:03pm, Me text to Grandma and Mom: Uh… what?

5:05pm, My Twitter: NYC bound!! J

5:07pm, Airlines Complimentary Phone Call to Me: Your flight to NYC has been canceled.

Karma’s a b****.

Now, fast-forward, after one night and day stay in Seattle, to present time…

5:11pm, Thursday, November 5th: In the air en route to NYC (yes, I have anxiety… why do you think I’m writing this? #distraction).

So we had a rough start. But, I wouldn’t want to spend a day and a half of bumps in travel plans with anyone else. We (myself, my mom, and my grandma) are a lot of things, some good and some bad, but what we are not is easily disturbed.

Lesson 1: It’s all an adventure. If it rains, dance. If it doesn’t work out exactly how you planned, smile and get on with it. If you’re flights are all messed up….do what I’m about to talk about next.

So, we have just landed in Seattle on Wednesday, November 4th. Me from Nevada, my mom from Montana, and my grandma from California. We had some hiccups, but we have made it… half way to our destination. So, naturally, we dealt with it like this…

Group text, Wednesday, November 4^th:

Me: Just landed in Seattle, my anxiety was through the roof—I’m going to the bar.

Mom: I will join you for wine! I did have my complimentary glass on the plane. Should we meet at bar?

Grandma: Which one

Me: PLEASE. I’ll find one near baggage claim.

Mom: Whoever gets luggage first pick a bar and let us know.

Me: You guys are awesome.

Lesson 2: Alcohol (specifically wine, but pick your poison).

So, let’s review. It is now Wednesday, November 4^th and myself, my mom, and my grandma have been reunited at the Seattle airport, oh, and by the way, I’m drunk.

Four deep glasses of wine in, and I’m feeling good as we leave the Seattle airport around 11pm to go to our hotel before we travel to the Big Apple the next day. So, naturally, I don’t think it’s time for bed (intelligence at it’s finest).

But apparently, neither does my mom.

As soon as we drop our bags in the room, my mom says, “wine.”

So, my mom and I chugged down the stairs.

Me to the concierge: “Nearest bar?”

Concierge: “Uh, 30 feet in front of you.”

Mom: She was already there.

Long story short, the night turned into my mom and I drinking one, okay, definitely more than one, glasses of wine at a karaoke bar where the participants were oddly talented. Oh, and she made me dance with an old man who… introduced me to his parents…

You get it. We had fun.

Lesson 3: When your mom says, “wine” – go. The bigger lesson here is to follow, with reason, Bud Light’s advertising campaign “up for whatever,” especially when you’re with family.

Now, it’s Thursday, November 5^th, 7am. The morning came, and my head was a mess. Literally though – my hair was crazy. But also, my head hurt, because again, wine.

But so did my mom’s, so I didn’t feel so bad.

As I lay in bed while my grandma and mom got ready and had like five “hot flashes,” I learned a great life lesson.

Lesson 4: Cherish your youth. Don’t take that for granted because, well, hot flashes and stuff.

We finally got to breakfast/brunch at which point my hangover was too real. We chatted, drank crappy coffee, and learned a little bit more about each others’ lives since we’d last seen each other. It was over this breakfast that my grandma taught me an invaluable lesson over the course of the conversation – based on personal experience of course.

Lesson 5: Don’t drink and dial. More importantly, though, having liquid courage to call a boy doesn’t end when you’re 25, 30, or even 70. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing, but it did make me feel a little bit better about myself, so that’s cool?

Alright, now we’ve finally got ourselves together and we’re off to the Seattle Airport to catch our new flight to NYC (I’m still struggling but it’s not the first time I’ve had too much wine so I knew I’d live).

It’s Thursday, November 5^th at 12pm. As we left the hotel, we befriended nearly four people just from our room to the door outside. Because that’s what we do. Why wouldn’t you tell the random woman in the lobby that her shoes are cute? Why wouldn’t you make jokes about the elevator to the random man in the hallway? Why wouldn’t you talk to everyone?

We would. We always do.

So, I decided to start counting how many people we befriended as we continued on our journey. I was up to nearly 15 by 3pm… I’m over counting now.

Lesson 6: Talk to people. Too often, we stay within our bubble. We don’t branch out and take the time to talk to people in different situations. Then, we wonder why we aren’t making new friends or our lives are bland. That’s why. Don’t be overbearing – but it’s okay to be open, kind, and chatty with people you don’t know. That’s all they are – people.

We got off the shuttle and arrived at the Seattle Airport. On our way to check-in, my mom was dragging her suitcases, attempting to roll them behind her as they wobbled from side to side.

The lack of efficiency was bad. I couldn’t take it.

Me to my mom: “Mom. Stop, get it together, and go on.”

So she laughed, and did.

She straightened out her suitcases and rolled ahead – no wobbling included.

Lesson 7: Stop, get it together, and go on. New life motto. Something created in the context of something so small, that can be applied to something so much larger.

We proceeded to the ticket counter and told the Alaska employee of our troubles. How we flew into Seattle yesterday from different states to meet up to go to NYC, but how our flight to NYC was canceled. How we already paid for our bags to go to NYC, but had to collect them in Seattle – so we wouldn’t be charged again, right? (Oh by the way, that’s basically the scenario I’ve been describing this entire time).

Poor guy.

As we checked in, he asked question after question. Questions that, if our answers had simply been “yes,” would have made his life a lot easier (i.e. Are you all on the same reservation? Um… of course we aren’t, that would be too easy).

Me to the Alaska employee: “Whatever would make your life even a little bit easier, with us three, assume it’s a no.”

Lesson 8: Understand that your family and friends are the way that they are—and embrace it. In our case, we might not have it totally together. This applies to the three musketeers of this trip – myself, my mom and my Grandma specifically. We’ll complicate things as much as we can apparently, but we’ll have a good time while we do it.

And so, I am three pages of writing in and I have been gone just shy of 24 hours. I haven’t even touched down on the east coast yet and already I have come to appreciate my family and my experiences even more. I’m feeling #blessed (also not though because I’m still nervous about this plane).

Pour the wine NYC (actually let’s stick with coffee from now on)—we’re coming for ya.

Chapter 2

As most vacations go, ours consisted of meal after meal out on the town (bring on the salt). On the second day we were in New York, my mom and grandma were set on McDonald’s breakfast (like… why?).

Me (out loud and in my mind, both multiple times): “Ew.”

So, we went first to a cute NYC bakery as per my request because, well, when in NYC I refuse to visit McDonald’s. Actually, when anywhere I refuse to visit McDonald’s.

Or so I thought.

As we waited in a ridiculously long line for a potentially mediocre bakery in NYC, I quickly got over it.

Me: “Let’s just go to McDonald’s…. said no one ever. Except I just did.”

*Queue man in line for said bakery judging me with his looks, and me, covering my face in disappointment.

Lesson 9: People make mistakes. I never planned on saying the words “Let’s just go to McDonald’s.” But it happened, and instead of basking in my mistake, I moved my hand from my face, and walked along. I chose to accept my mistake and move on (and ate a sh**ty cup of McDonald’s oatmeal).

 So it’s now Saturday, November 7^th— our second day in NYC. I have now posted my first blog featuring my mom and grandma and our trek to the city. My grandma and mom thought it was hilarious (duh, you were the main characters). So, as we go out into the city I tell them that I am yet again taking notes on the “funny” things that happen for another blog post.

Mom: “Yes! We’re so funny. I’m going to think of funny things to say all day.”

Me: “Well, that’s ruined.”

 Lesson 10: Don’t give away your project before it’s over. Having told my mom especially, that I was now observing and writing about our adventures, she decided it was time to step up her game and “do it for the story.” No, no. That’s not the point. Authenticity is the point. Don’t worry though, she forgot about it within 15 minutes (attention span probs).

After a day of tourist-ing hard, we found ourselves back at the hotel, getting ready for my first trip to Broadway. I hadn’t been drinking much since the first night of the vacation (for obvious reasons), but I thought it was time.

Me: “I kind of want a glass of wine.”

Grandma: “You can get one at half-time.”

Me: “Do we get to take shots every time they score a touchdown, too?”

Lesson 11: Learn the lingo… or don’t. Half time definitely isn’t a theatre term. Before you dive into other cultures or social circles, consider reading up. Or don’t, I understood either way. Plus, who doesn’t love half-time drinks?

Our trip to NYC was eye opening, unforgettable, and fun. My favorite part was the (men in) suits on Park Avenue, but I’ll save that for another time. When I first arrived, I was a little bit underwhelmed. “Okay, Vegas,” was all I could think as we rolled into Times Square in the middle of the night. As you can imagine, that first judgment was completely wrong, which I figured out throughout the duration of the trip. It did however take me a few days to warm up to the big city. For someone completely in love with San Francisco and Boston, I was expecting fireworks. But it took me a little longer in NYC. I don’t know if it was the mass amount of people, the chain stores, or the size—but it took exploring for me to find my niche.

But don’t worry, I found it—along with a whole lot more.

As I stepped out of the hotel that night, into the lights on our way to An American in Paris, I felt it for the first time. Butterflies in my stomach, smile on my face, trench coat button to the top, palms up to the sky—I found my, at least initial, love for New York. A love I can only seeing growing in due time.

Now, New York City is a little different than Reno (just a little). Whether it was ordering pizza, or getting a reservation for a town car to the airport—it felt like we really didn’t know much of anything.

Me to any person trying to help our confused-selves: “Sorry, we don’t know anything—we’re tourists.”

And guess what? New Yorkers dug it.

Lesson 12: When in doubt, play the “tourist” card. It seemed to me that New Yorkers, though rough around the edges, are teddy bears at heart. Let them know that you aren’t intentionally being stupid—you really just don’t know any better, and they’ll be more receptive as you hold up the line for 99-cent pizza. Because, “how much is it? Where do I order? Can I pay with card or…?”

I’m someone that is used to loving every place I go, exploring neighborhoods and pretending to be a local for a day. When I realized that 4 full days in New York might only mean tourist attractions and slices of pizza, I got a little nervous. I texted my friend that lived here previously, telling her I wished I could see different residential areas and other parts of New York.

Her advice: “Enjoy what you do get to see, it will always be there for you.”

 Lesson 13: Enjoy what you do get to experience with the time that you do have (rather than worrying about what you’re missing or the time that is running out. New York, or any place—will always be there for you, and it’s important to soak in every second, no matter what you do.

 We had a short time in the city, and between taking as many cutesy pictures as my camera could hold, drinking as many cute coffees as possible, spending time with my mom and grandma, and exploring what is known as the greatest city in the world, I eventually lost track of keeping track.

So for now, that’s all I have for lessons from my trip to NYC. Many unhealthy meals, hundreds of photos, many memories with three generations, and a new perspective on the east coast and different ways of living later—I’m back to my hometown.

Time to re-set goals and go to work (because I’m psycho like that).

Oh, and overall lesson, do things like this when you can—spending time with three generations in a city that welcomes tourists like us, well, that is something I will cherish forever.

Okay, so, I RARELY do this. But some friend told me that I probably should if I want to publish a book regarding entering the real world some day. So here we are.

Now, don’t get excited, I’m not going to tell you my deep dark secrets, I’m not going to tell you anything about my dating life at all. (Well, sort of). Because, you just don’t get to hear that. Hit me up for wine though…the only constant is change, after all.

Here are my problems with dating. I formulated these from my own experiences and experiences I see my friends go through. These problems don’t make sense. These problems make it hard. These problems make it something that I generally refrain from.

Why? Because, other than the fact that we still go out until 5 a.m. on occasion and hate ourselves the next day, we are ADULTS.

Alright, let’s go.

Problems with dating:

1. The texting.

This is the worst. Like, the actual worst. “He texted me first last time, when should I? Should I wait a couple hours? Should I do it tomorrow? Should I wait for him to text again? Maybe he’s just bad at texting. Maybe I should pretend to be bad at texting. He texted me for the first time in months on Saturday at 10 p.m., omg he’s into it! (no, he’s just drunk).”

OH MY GOD. I’ve said all of these things, I’ve heard all of my friends say these things, and it’s like, really? That’s what I’m spending my time doing? Wondering when I CAN talk to someone that I WANT to talk to?

Please. If you want to hang out, call them. (Easier said than done because believe me I’ll walk away from this blog and do it all over again tomorrow).

In addition, do we REALLY want to get to know people behind a screen? No freaking thanks. I’d like to talk in-person about your hopes and dreams…but maybe I’m the weird one (I am single, after all).

2. The bros.

I often friend zone guys within like twenty seconds of meeting them. Why? I like friends. Why else? I suck (or so I think) at flirting. Why else else? It’s easier to friend zone someone in case they don’t think of you the same way.

So, the guessing game continues, are we bros? Or do you like me?

And sometimes, I genuinely want to be bros, I don’t want anything more. And then that line is inevitably blurred along the way, because, we’re human.

So, it’s messy. It’s messy being bros.

3. The who’s going to ask who.

Okay so you’ve been texting, and now, you want to meet for drinks. Do I ask him? Does he ask me? Who sets a date and time?

Ew.

This is the most annoying. Do we want to meet out at 10 p.m. on a Friday night? Or do we want to get a coffee at 10 a.m. on a Saturday morning? Whatever the answer is to that, determines the level of interest/commitment this has the potential to go. How do we figure out this answer? We agonize over ambiguous texts until we finally get over it and eventually, coincidentally see them out at a bar and act awkward, unfortunately.

4. The guessing.

Does he like me? Did I talk too much? Did he read my blog and now thinks I’m a freak? LOL. Again, we’re ADULTS. If you like me, shweet. If you don’t, shweet.

Let’s stop wasting our time wondering and just make it clear, kapish?

5. The ghost.

This is where the fade away comes into play. Or, as it’s now called, “ghosting.” We slowly stop texting someone back. We slowly show we’re not interested by bailing on dates.

Come on. Respect someone’s time enough to not do that to them. (I’ve done it, I’m trying to stop).

No one can get mad at you for not liking them. If we liked everyone we went out on a date with ever, there would be no such thing as love…so think about that.

6. The insecurity.

Once you are dating, it’s like, are we boyfriend and girlfriend? Are they talking to other people? What if they go out and meet someone else?

Please, have enough confidence in yourself and respect for yourself to not let someone do that to you. You deserve to KNOW that someone is into you and you alone.

We’re adults.

7. The I’d rather not.

So, all of these things add up to the “I’d rather not.”

For me, I’d rather not deal with these questions and waste my brain power trying to figure out what’s going on in someone else’s head. I can barely figure out what’s going on in mine.

And this is sad. Because dating/relationships/all that junk is awesome, actually (not that I would know).

So let’s be real with each other. Let’s stop with the guessing and the tricks. Let’s be adults.

If you’re down, let me know. If you’re not, that’s fine too.

Good luck and godspeed, it’s an annoying world out there.

**Baby in a high chair=me dating. Helpless and just wanna eat. So if you don’t listen to anything I just said, then that’s fine, too.

“No shirt, one tampon, no problems.” – Ancient Proverb

I recently attended a networking event in Reno, NV, and, from a “trying to adult” perspective, I’d like to give you a few tips to make your next professional networking event a mild success. (More successful than mine).

1. Don’t wear white they day of, unless you have your s*** together.

After changing an upwards of ten the morning of, because, duh, I settled on a nice/classy/Vogue-esque white tank with a new brown jacket on top (see below). Upon choosing this outfit, I also decided that Victoria Beckham was my new spirit animal, but that’s a whole other story.

I always eat a good breakfast, in hopes of actually being fit and healthy (lol). It wasn’t until I got into the office and looked down that I saw 3. fat. cholula. stains. on the front of my shirt.

I knew I had to make a choice. And fast. Was I going to try to tuck in the stains? (They were on the lower part of my shirt afterall). Was I going to go home and change? (Nope, meetings all day). My only option, it seemed, was to take off the shirt and wear only my jacket, zipped up (the shirt was long, wouldn’t work under).

This meant going to said networking event with a jacket and no shirt. Awkwardly hugging my friends I saw in fear of lifting my arms too high and exposing my lack of abs, and generally being uncomfortable.

So, like I said, do not wear white the day of an event unless you truly feel you have your s*** together. (And if you feel that way, hit me up for a guest blog, plz).

2. Secure your personal belongings.

I showed up, alone, (no shirt), and made my way to the check-in table. Luckily (or maybe not), I saw someone I knew working it. After exchanging hellos, giving my name to check-in, etc., I was asked to put my business card in the box for a raffle.

“Sure thing!” (Of course I had my business card, I’m a professional).

I reached into my bag to grab my fancy leather portfolio that I had bought in an attempt to appear over 25 for a conference I went to in Austin, and noticed something fly out of my purse with it.

But, as to not convenience the line, I quickly grabbed a biz card out of my portfolio, placed in the box, and got situated before looking to the ground to see what had dropped.

And there it was, a brand new (duh), bright pink and white packaged tampon. On the ground in front of me, having just flown out of my purse, in front of everyone in the line.

I quickly grabbed it, and found a table.

3. Just say no.

I then reached my table, no shirt, but with tampon. This is my sentiment to tell you that if you would like, you can say no to the food at networking events. Often, I hear people say they can’t reach their goals because they have too many events going on. Newsflash: you can always refrain from eating that cake. If you want to be super productive that afternoon and avoid the “afternoon chair slump” I highly recommend skipping out on what you don’t want and getting something a tad more fresh.

You can also use your not eating as an ice breaker. “Oh, I had a great brunch today, let me tell you about it.” And P.S. people are thinking about the fact that you only ate half your cake slice WAY LESS than you think they are.

4. Don’t feel weird.

It kind of sucks going up to strangers and inserting yourself in their conversation, CLEARLY with the motive of talking up your business. Don’t feel weird about it, though. That’s LITERALLY what these networking events are for…people expect it.

5. Make friends.

On that note, don’t BS. I firmly believe in relationships and truly networking with the person and not the business. Enjoy it! There are actually some awesome people out there that are like-minded. You’d be surprised.

6. Sit back and enjoy.

Sit back and enjoy. I know I do. (Oh, and listen to the speakers, dammit, they’re generally sharing their knowledge for a reason…you know, put your PHONE AWAY).

I guess the last thing would be to enjoy every event, meeting, or otherwise. Even if you aren’t wearing a shirt. Even if you drop a tampon on the ground in front of everyone. It can still be a success… “There will be miracles, when you believe.”

**OOOO. Blog post to come on types of networkers. Stay tuned.

 

I often write of being lost, not knowing what I’m doing, trusting the process…you get it.

And then sometimes I write about things like “the wow moment” or moments when I find what I am looking for, where I realize that everything has happened a certain way for a reason.

And then it repeats. It’s a cycle, one that has continued for the past four years or so.

I freak out about not knowing what I want, accept that I don’t know what I want, figure out what I want, and then start freaking out about not knowing what I want one more time.

If you do not now think of me as a psychopath (oh wait, if you read my blog, you probably already do), please read on.

It gets exhausting, this cycle. And for obvious reasons, I am pretty tired of it. Pretty tired of constantly convincing myself of things, getting in my own head, telling my friends of my new plan, my new goal — it’s honestly annoying af.

But, I think I figured out the reason this cycle continues. I had an interesting day, going back and forth in my head about different choices I need to make in the coming months — when it hit me.

What do I want to do?

I know EXACTLY what I want to do.

So why am I wondering what to choose? Why am I going back and forth between options, trying to figure out my end goal, and constantly remaining confused about my future?

Because the truth is hard.

The truth, what I really want, well, it’s a long shot. And it’s going to suck for awhile. And it’s not conventional. And I have a LARGE chance of failing.

So I suppress it.

I’m a creative, artistic person (see ballet, fashion, interiors, etc….my Insta), and yet, I am also a very strategic, rational/logical person (thanks parentals).

And so, these things often clash.

And while I am also thankful for these things, it can also make these decisions difficult.

Oh, we’re here again: head vs. heart.

Yeah, it’s hard.

But I can’t suppress it anymore. I can’t continue creating plans, goals, and dreams that aren’t authentic to me.

Because what in the hell is the point of that?

There isn’t one.

The point here, I guess, (other than simply talking myself into shutting tfu), is to encourage you to remain authentic. In a world with people, expectations, and norms pushing you in all directions, I encourage you to remain true to you.

As much as I preach it, write about it, tell others to do it — I myself struggle.

Easier said than done, as they say.

So I will work on it.

Because this cycle, well, it’s exhausting.

And I need that energy if I’m going to tackle my lofty dreams.

I don’t really know what I’m going to ramble about today, but lately I haven’t been able to put pen to paper that often (or should I say fingertips to keyboard), so here I am.

I’m not generally one to force myself to write, rather, I write when I learn a lesson, get inspired, or have something to figure out that is burning in my heart or mind.

So, this is a new experience for me, but I want to write a book some day (soon) — so I’m sure I’ll have to do this at some point.

There’s been some big stuff going on inside my head lately, nothing life or death, no, but stuff nonetheless. Stuff that I need to make choices about, stuff that will change some years of my life.

It’s strange, trying to decide. Especially when you are fortunate enough to be in pretty much a win-win situation.

Do you follow your head? Or do you follow your heart?

That is the question I would like someone to answer for me. That is the answer I need branded on the back of my hand.

But no one can choose that for you. No one can waltz into your life and tell you what is right, what you should do.

And no one will.

So you figure it out, I guess. Or at least you try to.

And then you live with that choice, knowing that there will always be more choices ahead. More opportunities to get it right or to get it wrong all over again.

And I think that faith, that faith that there will be more chances is what keeps us going. We’re not throwing away our dreams or stability. We’re simply making a choice, one that will come again.

One that we have to believe will come again.