A few years ago, I set out to change my image. To build my resume. To set myself up for success.
And it worked.
I support myself, I have a good job with even better people, [insert more seemingly bragging here].
Somewhere along the way, though, between the schedules, the strategy, the huge dreams and large goals – I lost a large part of who I am.
The part of me that only thinks of the day in front of me. The part of me that only lives for that moment and that moment alone. The part of me that doesn’t plan, doesn’t only look to the future, doesn’t waste away her life in her dreams.
I lost the part of me that appreciates the little things. The part of me that has gratitude for the world and everything in it. The part of me that looks around and realizes that this is enough.
That I am enough.
Amid people telling me I’m going to do big things, amid the pressure I put on myself to achieve greatness and change lives, I lost the part of me that allows me to do just that.
Simply being myself.
Recently I became lost, I felt like I was floundering – and why? Because I was chasing a dream that might not be mine to chase.
Because I’m not sure it’s my dream anymore.
As we grow older, develop into the person we were meant to be, and experience different things…we evolve.
And as we evolve, so do our dreams.
I don’t want to chase a dream that isn’t mine anymore in fear of regret and not doing big things. I don’t want to take my days for granted in search of a better future. I don’t want to go after something that in the end, may leave me feeling more alone and empty than before.
I want to live for today. I want to set dreams and goals and allow them to change. I want to enjoy the journey as I pursue those goals, realizing that the fact that I even have the option to pursue them is a blessing – is enough.
While it’s okay to want something more, something different – it’s more important to appreciate where you are today, right now.
“What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.”
I’m done obsessing over that picture, I’m ready to put my glasses on, work hard, and enjoy my own.