Let’s talk about dating

Okay, so, I RARELY do this. But some friend told me that I probably should if I want to publish a book regarding entering the real world some day. So here we are.

Now, don’t get excited, I’m not going to tell you my deep dark secrets, I’m not going to tell you anything about my dating life at all. (Well, sort of). Because, you just don’t get to hear that. Hit me up for wine though…the only constant is change, after all.

Here are my problems with dating. I formulated these from my own experiences and experiences I see my friends go through. These problems don’t make sense. These problems make it hard. These problems make it something that I generally refrain from.

Why? Because, other than the fact that we still go out until 5 a.m. on occasion and hate ourselves the next day, we are ADULTS.

Alright, let’s go.

Problems with dating:

  1. The texting.

This is the worst. Like, the actual worst. “He texted me first last time, when should I? Should I wait a couple hours? Should I do it tomorrow? Should I wait for him to text again? Maybe he’s just bad at texting. Maybe I should pretend to be bad at texting. He texted me for the first time in months on Saturday at 10 p.m., omg he’s into it! (no, he’s just drunk).”

OH MY GOD. I’ve said all of these things, I’ve heard all of my friends say these things, and it’s like, really? That’s what I’m spending my time doing? Wondering when I CAN talk to someone that I WANT to talk to?

Please. If you want to hang out, call them. (Easier said than done because believe me I’ll walk away from this blog and do it all over again tomorrow).

In addition, do we REALLY want to get to know people behind a screen? No freaking thanks. I’d like to talk in-person about your hopes and dreams…but maybe I’m the weird one (I am single, after all).

2. The bros.

I often friend zone guys within like twenty seconds of meeting them. Why? I like friends. Why else? I suck (or so I think) at flirting. Why else else? It’s easier to friend zone someone in case they don’t think of you the same way.

So, the guessing game continues, are we bros? Or do you like me?

And sometimes, I genuinely want to be bros, I don’t want anything more. And then that line is inevitably blurred along the way, because, we’re human.

So, it’s messy. It’s messy being bros.

3. The who’s going to ask who.

Okay so you’ve been texting, and now, you want to meet for drinks. Do I ask him? Does he ask me? Who sets a date and time?

Ew.

This is the most annoying. Do we want to meet out at 10 p.m. on a Friday night? Or do we want to get a coffee at 10 a.m. on a Saturday morning? Whatever the answer is to that, determines the level of interest/commitment this has the potential to go. How do we figure out this answer? We agonize over ambiguous texts until we finally get over it and eventually, coincidentally see them out at a bar and act awkward, unfortunately.

4. The guessing.

Does he like me? Did I talk too much? Did he read my blog and now thinks I’m a freak? LOL. Again, we’re ADULTS. If you like me, shweet. If you don’t, shweet.

Let’s stop wasting our time wondering and just make it clear, kapish?

5. The ghost.

This is where the fade away comes into play. Or, as it’s now called, “ghosting.” We slowly stop texting someone back. We slowly show we’re not interested by bailing on dates.

Come on. Respect someone’s time enough to not do that to them. (I’ve done it, I’m trying to stop).

No one can get mad at you for not liking them. If we liked everyone we went out on a date with ever, there would be no such thing as love…so think about that.

6. The insecurity.

Once you are dating, it’s like, are we boyfriend and girlfriend? Are they talking to other people? What if they go out and meet someone else?

Please, have enough confidence in yourself and respect for yourself to not let someone do that to you. You deserve to KNOW that someone is into you and you alone.

We’re adults.

7. The I’d rather not.

So, all of these things add up to the “I’d rather not.”

For me, I’d rather not deal with these questions and waste my brain power trying to figure out what’s going on in someone else’s head. I can barely figure out what’s going on in mine.

And this is sad. Because dating/relationships/all that junk is awesome, actually (not that I would know).

So let’s be real with each other. Let’s stop with the guessing and the tricks. Let’s be adults.

If you’re down, let me know. If you’re not, that’s fine too.

Good luck and godspeed, it’s an annoying world out there.

**Baby in a high chair=me dating. Helpless and just wanna eat. So if you don’t listen to anything I just said, then that’s fine, too.

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