Wake up, go to work, workout at lunch (maybe), come home, do my dishes/clean my apartment (aka make it look like a magazine because I live alone and what else am I going to do?), cook (sorta), browse social media and probably post a posed/trying really hard photo (a waste of time for the most part), read, write if I’m feeling it, go over my schedule, sleep.
You’re welcome—now you know how I live my life.
This isn’t a bad schedule, in fact, it’s decently standard. However, along with it, came a feeling of “bla,” a feeling lacking my sense of wonderment in the world and appetite for passion and excitement—a feeling lacking butterflies and any sort of spice.
Routines are necessary for progress, and my routine works. I hang out with friends, go out occasionally and travel as much as possible—so why was I feeling this way?
It could have been the fact that I was working every single day of the week, it could have been because I just graduated, have been going through some friendship changes and am adjusting to “real life.” It could have been a lot of things, but I’m choosing now to see it as almost laziness, an easy way out—no way to live.
This morning I woke up at 5a (thanks, Reno sunrise, you’re beautiful), and found myself with some extra time. So, being my self, I attempted to meditate (seriously, how do you even do that?). That lasted about five seconds before I started thinking of what I should/could be doing (I’m working on it, okay).
I then decided to try something.
I opened up a new doc on my computer and titled it “grateful.”
I then spent the next twenty or so minutes writing a list of the who’s, what’s, where’s and why’s I’m grateful for—of everything I have in my life and everything I need to realize is absolutely incredible.
As the list grew, I grew a sense of wonderment (FINALLY).
Why? Because I have so much to be grateful for, and most of us do.
It’s not that I wasn’t grateful during my “bla” period, it was that I had forgotten. Or at least, I had pushed this list too far back in my mind and heart, and let the obligations of day-to-day life take the forefront.
It’s okay to get in funks, it’s okay to feel a little “bla” sometimes. We’re human, it’s okay.
Just don’t let it take over for too long. Don’t forget all of the amazing things you have, things you have the possibility to do.
It’s no way to live. It’s nothing worth looking back on and thinking, “I wish I hadn’t wasted precious time thinking that way, I wish I had chosen to live.”
This is nothing I didn’t know before, in fact, I have many blog posts similar to this one. It is just something that I had forgotten, something I needed to remind myself of, something I hope to never forget again.
Make your list, or if you’re not crazy like me, meditate and learn to appreciate your breathing (I think that’s part of it)—do something to wake up out of your funk. Life is too short to live that way, it just is.