Pencil

I’ve found a place.

A place filled with contentment, and a place filled with goals. A place filled with uncertainty, and a place filled with faith. A place filled with a plan, and a place filled with room for change.

For too long I tried to plan out my future month by month, day by day, hour by hour (minute by minute if we’re being totally honest here), and, I still do, and I still will— probably for the rest of my life (#TypeA). But now, I am in a place where I see the difference between preparing and planning, I see the difference between living in the future and living in the present.

I see the difference between being happy and being, well, not.

It’s hard to see this when you are your own worst critic. It’s hard see this when you always know that you can do better, that you can be better. It’s hard to see this when the future seems so daunting and unclear.

But you should see it, and you should see that by living each day in honor of your goals, you will be happy, even if you aren’t exactly where you want to be yet.

I’ve spoken with individuals, uncertain about their futures, attempting to plan their careers, searching for answers, and I can’t help but tell them to breathe.

To do the best that they can. To put their best self forward each day. To strive for greatness. But most importantly, to trust that by giving each day their all and focusing on the present, they are setting themselves up for their futures, whatever those may be.

In my life, nothing started to fall into place until I let go. Nothing started to fall into place until I trusted that focusing on my current situation and setting myself up for success as best I could each day, would get me where I needed and wanted to be— even if I didn’t know exactly where that was.

So yes, my planner will still tell me what I am doing in three years from this date. Yes, it will tell me my goals and plans and give me a timeline. But yes, it will be written in pencil, and yes, it will have eraser marks on nearly every page.

And finally, yes, I will poor my entire self into every day, regardless of what the future may be.

*By pencil, I mean typed in a Word Doc and by eraser marks, I mean edits— it’s 2015.