I was recently asked by an old friend why none of my blogs are about “love and boys” (wait pause— you read my blog? #YAASSSS).
“So what’s your status? Are you talking to anyone? Have you tried? You need some love in your life.”
Oh, yeah… that.
To answer these questions, I retorted with my defensive list of reasons as to why I’m still single (I’m not entirely sure if any of them are real or I just make them up in my head to feel better and to “not care”).
Insert hilarious roundabout compliment here:
So, how am I still single? Why do I never write about “love and boys,” yet still have so much to write about?
I guess I’ve never really thought about it.
Okay, that’s pushing it— I’m a 22 year old female that has a blog, loves coffee, posts Instagram photos like it’s my job, and memorizes the occasional rom com (low key). Obviously I have thought about meeting someone, having it go somewhere— bla bla bla. Obviously it gets to me sometimes (if you haven’t felt sorry for yourself at least once, you’re a lying to yourself— quit that). But it’s not a prominent thought in my mind.
And I believe that that’s okay.
In fact, I believe that that’s more than okay.
I believe in love. I believe in companionship. I believe in meeting someone that compliments you and pushes you to be your best self (after this, feel free to check out my other blog post that I was previously too afraid to share). I believe in it, yes.
But do I need it right now? No.
I have many dreams, many goals, many aspirations. I am busy. I want to go places and meet people. I am independent— I shop alone, I watch movies alone, I do day-to-day things alone. I am confident in who I am (most of the time, sometimes— whatever). I understand that I have an enormous amount of love and support in my life from all of my mentors, peers, co-workers, friends, and family. I don’t discredit everything I am already so #blessed to have.
Yes, I have different “issues” to work on (oh you’re supposed to let people in? Interesting point of view, I’ll think about that). Yes, I could probably open up, be more daring— more reckless (this will be a blog post you’ll probably never see). But right now, I am happy where I am, I am proud of where I am going— and right now, I don’t need a boy by my side to tell me that where I am is right.
I respect my friends in relationships. I respect my friends that have flings. I respect those that don’t. I’m not opposed to the idea of it, yet I am not searching either. Because right now, I have too many awesome people in my life and too many things to accomplish to let it take up my mind and energy. I don’t want to waste time wishing for something that isn’t there, something that isn’t meant to be there yet.
Because truly— what’s meant to be, will be.
And if (and when?) I do meet someone, if (and when?) I do become involved with “love and boys,” I’m not so sure I would publicly write about it anyway. Certain things are meant to be shared, others not so much— not always at least.
**I wrote in a recent article that “I for one, post on my personal accounts like it’s my job, but I also maintain a decently private personal life because that is the way I choose to live.”