Coffee runs at 8:50 p.m. before Starbucks closes. Group texts blowing up your phone. Ordering food to your meeting room. Running the stairs in an attempt to get a question answered. Late night delirium. Rehearsals, typos, corrections and, above all, stress.
Being a student during finals is not easy. Being a student that cares deeply about your performance is not easy. Being a PR student presenting to real clients is not easy. Being in a profession that requires all of your work to build up for one showcase, one chance, is not easy.
Being a perfectionist is not easy.
It is what I want, though.
As much as I stressed the past couple of weeks, as much as I complained— as I left my group members the night before our client presentation, walking home from campus after midnight following a 17 hour day, I couldn’t help but smile.
Smile, because we did it. Smile, because as stressful as that was, I was satisfied.
And that’s when I realized it, why I was smiling, why I loved it so much— adrenaline.
My adrenaline was pumping, I was tired, but I was done.
Even though I complain, even though my feet get tired, even though I might end up with more wrinkles than the next person, even though I worry too much (sorry to everyone that has to hear it, and thanks for listening), even though I have sacrificed some things, it’s what I live for.
I live for the late nights finishing projects. I live for the deadlines. I live for the details. I live for the accuracy. I live for the precision.
I live for my work, and I feel passionate in what I do.
After a semester where my new found motivation for my future had somewhere taken a downward spiral, I have found it again.
I remember why I do this, I remember that this is the right thing for me.
I live for the adrenaline, I live for the success.
And maybe, you should take a step back and look at what you complain about most, what pushes you to your limits, because maybe, that’s what you live for, too.
And what’s so cool about it all, really, is that even once you’re through, once the stage lights are turned off, you may look back and see things you would have done differently. You may think you didn’t do good enough. But that’s okay, because it’s all an experience, it’s all a chance to do better, to be better in the future. It’s all about you— your work, your mind, your drive.
It’s what we live for, and that’s a beautiful thing.